Crawling back up from over the edge

So there are all the things now. All the things. I feel like we are in some properly mad Hunger Games-esque scenario. The relative 'evidence' for wanting to come home has been submitted to MP office, which is then passed on to Home Office. It's actually nuts and it kind of makes me quite angry when I think about this too much...if I had given birth over here, Emilio would be a British citizen automatically. If I had been resident in the U.K. when I adopted him, Emilio would be a British citizen automatically. But because I adopted him while living over here, he is not entitled and I have to go through this crazy expensive and LONG process to get him on the same passport as his mum. IT IS MADNESS. And in normal times, this would just be submitted and we would sit and wait the potential 6 months that it might take...but, as previously discussed, I've reached my limit in the coping of the things and I need to get us home. In order for them (Home Office people) to fast-track our application, I have to prove that Emilio is autistic and also prove that I am not ok and really could use some support. Fair enough but also, 'YOU KNOW THERE'S A GLOBAL PANDEMIC, RIGHT?!'. Anyway, these are the things that we have to do. The Hunger Gamesy part of it is that IF this goes well and we are allowed to travel home, then I have about a bajillion things to organise. Dogs being the main thing. All three of them. How in the chuffery do I get them home because things are not normal. Normally (hah!), wee Bobcito travels in the cabin with me because he's wee and he's my Bob. However, in COVID times, it's a bit unclear if this will be doable because also the U.K. do not allow pets to travel in cabin directly into the U.K. in normal times, so obviously they won't in COVID times. I have never understood this rule because they can travel in cabin OUT of the U.K. so what's the diff? I call BS. 

The other bugger is that we need to travel through a not red list country for 2 weeks to avoid hotel quarantine because there is no earthly way we could cope with being stuck in a room for 2 weeks. No. Earthly. Way. So then what about Bobcito? I've accepted Bella and Bridget will need to go by registered freight, rather than try and get them to Europe and then get on a boat or a train to Engerland...remember that Christmas...Lima - Amsterdam - Newcastle - Edinburgh - Largs with my favourite travelling companion, Bobcito Kelly. What an adventure. These is not the times for adventuring. Least of all with my special boy who will require an enormous amount of social storying/visual scheduling/snacking/ipading/whatevering to try and avoid all the meltdowning. This is giving me mad anxiety just thinking about it. 

Anyway. For now, we wait. Having spoken at length to close friends and also my headshrinker about what having no control over, basically, anything at all in these times does to your head, I decided the best way to not continue spiralling into the depths of madness was to pack. It does seem a bit nuts because I have literally (and I do mean literally) no idea when we can leave, if we can go home, where we will go first, etc, etc, etc. But taking a little bit of control and thinking - no, this stuff can all go straight to Oman - that has actually helped. As has deciding to sell all our furniture. That's been a big thing. I got this gorgeous recycled wood furniture here which is made to order, including a bespoke bookcase for E. Sentimental AF over here, I wanted it all shipped to Oman. But that is a ridiculous notion, it transpires, as it is likely to cost about 5 times what it cost to make. Hard, though. Our first stuffs together. But it is only stuffs. 

The boy himself. Well. Speech is super tricky for Emilio, as I've said countless times, but man alive, is he making progress. He has now mastered the art of manipulation (though this was quite some time ago in other respects) and uses 'and then' against me. Very recently, he has learned what 'and then' means. We have been working with a visual schedule pretty much since he came home and this really, really helps to sequence the day and to avoid transition mayhem. Stuff that works for children with special needs tends to work with all early childhooders - visuals are key! So Emilio really gets what's happening in his day and if we change the order, it's ok, as long as he can see the pictures and it's all clear. But recently, I have been trying to introduce a 'now and next' board - so just pictures of what is happening right now and what can be next. I've used this with kids in class before and it really is kind of just if there's something that 'needs' done before the thing they actually want to do happens - a wee carrot and stick if you will. With Emilio, it's been like in response to a want of his, such as 'TV'. I'd say 'no, now brush your teeth and then TV' or the like. It's really working for him and he can pull himself out of a tantrum if it's laid out like that (and it's a reasonable request). But now, if I say 'no, now it's dinner time', what follows from him is, 'and then ice-cream'. I mean, he's figured it out! How do you NOT then give him ice-cream?! Answer me that?! I'm absolutely thrilled with him and think he is the cleverest wee cookie the world ever did see. The progress this child is making is just phenomenal, given his start to life, given how little 'proper' intervention he's had in the last 18 months and given he's been stuck at home with me for 14 months. He is absolutely incredible and never, ever fails to amaze me. Just the other week, he was sitting on the loo and I said, 'Now, tell me why you're yawning? Is that perhaps because you've been up sin ce ten past four??' (yes, I know I shouldn't use sarcasm BUT THERE IS NO ONE ELSE TO TALK TO!!!!!) and he shouts, 'equaaaalllllssss FOURTEEN!'. I mean. 

So. We are doing what we can do and waiting and hoping and clinging back to the edge of that cliff.