Waiting, waiting...

Can't actually describe the nerves pulsing through my veins right now, but I'm going to try because it's like therapy, this blogging malarky. I used to be a bit of a thesp, you know. All that jazz and am dram and singing and stuff...and the FEAR that comes with going on a stage to sing in front of people; where your legs are literally shaking, your hands are dripping with sweat and you're wondering why on Earth you thought this was a wise idea...that feels like a walk in the park comparatively. Actually, recently my face has started to shake when I go and sing. My actual face. Anyway, not sure most people would normally compare waiting for news on your adoption to singing on a stage but there we go. I'm not most people and I'm definitely not normal. 

Today I have a meeting with all the people who are currently looking after 'my' baby. This is the Big Question Time. This wee love has lots of schizzle going on, as expected with any child who has suffered trauma, and I am going to go and find out what the current situation is. After having read the file, I realised the last assessment was 6 months ago and a lot can change in a Tiny Human's life in 6 months. Also, I don't care. My village are being an INCREDIBLE support during this exceptionally exciting but terrifying time (as 'they' could still say no...) but I'm being met with other people's fears and concerns about my choice to adopt a child with special needs. I suppose I understand on some level that perhaps it seems like a huge undertaking, especially as I'm on my own, but I just know that this is the right path for me. I've been passionate about special needs for a long time and spent 3 years getting a Masters in Inclusion and SEN. Not saying for a second that this will prepare me entirely for what's to come, but I'm walking towards this and choosing it with my eyes wide open. As long as I can provide the love and care that my Tiny Human needs, I don't think anything else matters. This is my choice and I'm absolutely certain this is the right path. BRING ME MY BABY!