Dogs, Chaos, A Series of Unfinished Conversations

Indeed we do have a new family member. That new family member is currently trying to rip up my grass carpet whilst Bee hisses from the corner and Bob tries to, um, get to know her a little better... Oh dear. Bridget Jones is a beautiful, seven month old Beagle who is completely unhousetrained and completely gorgeous. Emilio LOVES her and we are hopefully going to get her trained as a therapy dog. What could possibly go wrong? Some may say crazy, I say the more the merrier. She has escaped from my apartment no less than 5 times in the last 2 days: the fun of chasing after her, having left the door open so the whole merry lot come tanking out into the park of the condo, well, how would you like your Mondays to go? Really, though? Yesterday, we had the Village over for brunch and mimosas...I don't actually know how many kids were here but it was absolute chaos and I loved it. Gradually, I think that Santa Maria Poppins is learning that I NEED a little chaos to survive and so is leaving my books where they are and not incessantly tidying Every. Little. Thing. My house is like my head; messy, disorganised and bursting full of love. Love in my head? Yes. I think that's right. 

Since the magic of Florida, we have had More Big Stuff going on. Emilio has started Speech Therapy and also started working with another angel who has mercifully danced into our lives at exactly the right moment. He is flying through our PECS training and has added new words to his repetoire. Currently, his favourite thing to wander around saying is, 'Peppa! George!" in an exact Mummy Pig voice. I am NOT jealous of a TV show character, I am NOT. It's not all about the actual words, of course it's not; it's about helping this bright little cookie learn to communicate with the big, bad world. But hearing his gorgeous voice saying 'banana' or 'pencil' or 'huevo' is just the most beautiful music. It's the most difficult thing, trying hard not to hope that he'll speak because whatever happens and however he is going to be is just perfect to me. But hope, I do. That he'll one day say 'I love you, Mama'. Or even 'I want to watch Peppa'. I'd take that. 

We also began the what-I-thought-would-be-hell Toilet Training. Again, how this child surprises me. Armed with the potty, the books, the Elmo DVD, the Elmo book, the PECS symbol and the millions of bleach...we began. Day 2 and he was doing it. Absolutely incredible. Incredible. We are still struggling to get the how-he-can-express-that-he-needs-to-go sitch, but he full on is doing it. The last few days, he's been a bit poorly (cue many cuddles and snuggles and, of course, Peppa) so there were a few accidents yesterday. These words I did utter: Emilio. For the love of god. You just have to pee in the potty. That is all. That is LITERALLY your only responsibility in life. I will do EVERY. OTHER. SINGLE. THING. FOR. YOU. Just pee in the potty! 

It made us both giggle our heads off. I wonder if he actually understood how ridiculous I was being. 

So yes, we are now a family of 6. I said no more furries until I have a farm. Well. I promise I will NOT get a goat until I have a farm. Or at least a big house with a big garden. No goats. Or pigs. 

Other Stuff I've Learned: 

1. You will never finish another conversation ever again. "Oh heeeeey! How was your...EMILIO?! STOP EATING THAT BIRTHDAY CAKE! IT'S NOT YOURS!" 

2. Or cup of coffee. 

3. There is no such thing as too much coffee. 

4. Sometimes you have to accept that 3.30am is when the day begins. Hard. But acceptance is key. 

5. Friends who are also parents will be so equally as desperate to talk to other adults as you are, that you will constantly interrupt each other, not really listening but absolutely hearing each other, in manner of Meredith and Christina, when you do actually see each other. 

6. You will NEVER do All Of The Things. Don't stop trying, but definitely know you won't. 

7. Going to the bank to pay Some Of The Things without either the Tiny Human or the Furry Family absolutely feels like a 2 week vacay. You should def have a piña colada on the way there. 

8. Running after the fastest Toddler ever to have existed is both terrifying and hilarious. Where did he go NOW? 

9. Bedtime stories remain the most perfect place to exist. 

10. Saturday nights on the sofa, with the furries, the greatest love of your life fast asleep in dreamland, a great book and a glass of red is everything. Absolutely everything. 

11. 9pm is too late to go to bed.  

Travel

Did we go to see our family? Yes, we did. Yes. We. Did. Emilio, being allowed to actually get out of his bed when he woke at 3.30am on the day of travel, was particularly delighted with himself. The everything went all according to plan. We had priority check in, we had priority security on account of being a parent with a child (THANK YOU, PERU. NOTE TO ALL OTHER COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD: THEY HAVE REDUCED LINES BECAUSE THEY ARE LITTLE!!), straight through into the Lounge where I encountered for the first time, a children's section. Actually shamazing. Onto the plane where we had been upgraded to the first row...all was going swimmingly...until it wasn't. The neurologist said to just give him Melatonin to calm him and make him sleep. What the neurologist doesn't get is that my son LOATHES AND ABHORS the sleep and fights it with every breath in his body, every fibre of his being. So, instead of inducing calm...the sleepiness made him rage. I was introduced to the blood curdling scream at however many metres above sea level. As was the rest of the plane. Such was the level of torture, that the stewardess asked if anything could be done. I did not punch her because I do not believe in violence, nevertheless, to say it was a stressful time would be an inaccuracy. To say that I nearly threw both of us out the plane would be slightly exaggerating. I'll leave you to your thoughts...

However. People keep getting more wonderful. Sat beside us was a gentleman from Illinois. Almost close to landing, and only after Emilio had climbed on him and played with his beard, did he share that 12 years ago he was on a flight back from China with his baby girl daughter...along with 39 other infants who had just been adopted. He also had many friends with children with autism. He couldn't have been kinder and I couldn't be more grateful. Thank you, kind sir, should you ever read this, for showing such compassion when I was losing my mind and showing no patience whatsoever. Thank you. 

Landing in Orlando...my, oh my. They were INCREDIBLE. "Hello, Miss Kelly, we are waiting to accompany you with your son and make sure this next part is as stress free as we can make it." Yes, I whimpered. Anyone travelling with a person with additional needs, you go ahead and contact the airlines AND the airports. I am so glad I did - what a service and with such wonderful humour and humility. Again, thank you. 

And then. We had made it. We had actually got out of one country with its ridiculous rules and stuff into a country I have the utmost disrespect for due to its president (lower case intended), yet adore. I love Florida. LOVE. IT. It's hot and gorgeous and people are friendly and the roads are wide and no one is trying to literally ram your car and kill your child crossing the road. Yes, you have problems - guns and school shootings and gay club shootings. There is NO point trying to go there. But you are also the home of MIckey and Harry Potter World. Where people buy your $400 grocery bill and don't even want a thanks. Where the car in front pays your toll, just coz. Get over guns, stay as human as you are, and I'm yours. 

With all this, I am certain that my child picked up on family vibes. Certain of it. Meeting my gorgeous nephew and his gorgeous girlfriend after our long day and their long day and a SCREAMING MELTDOWN minutes before in the restaurant...what did he do? He puts both hands up and waves (backwards - the most amazing thing ever) and says 'hi! hi!'. Not once has he done this before. Yes the 'hi' and yes the waving but not both at the same time with both hands. This set the tone of our holiday. He just changed. I can't explain it and I can't even say what I mean...he just changed. More vocal, more interactive, completely accepting of all of our journeys, new people, new experiences. He lit up. He came even more alive. I am convinced that my son knew that the people we were with are my most important people. Convinced. And now he has a family. A grandma and a papa, aunts and uncles and cousins - the most amazing cousins anyone could ask for. Leading up to this trip, I was nervous. He is so different, my neurodiverse little piece of heaven, so I was nervous that he wouldn't be one of them...he's exactly one of them. Just one of our massive big gang, bringing something special to our already special mix. A & E, C & A, D & L, O & L: this little boy is the luckiest cousin in the world. And he has still got more to meet! 

It wasn't easy to get us there. In fact, it seemed impossible...but when faced with impossibility, I generally shout something offensive and go at it head on. There were new elements of parenting that were thrown up in our faces and new things I had to learn. As ever, my temper is my worst trait and it's taking everything I have to calm it. Despite years of not giving a flying filangie what anyone thinks, or perhaps building my persona to give off that impression, I really can't cope with the screaming in public. It sets my nerves on edge and makes me react angrily...I'm working on it. Working on it on a plane, when you've 5 hours and 45 minutes to go is new levels of hell. 

But totally, utterly worth it.