Here we go

Back in the llama land and after a month of whirling round the UK like a big bag of whirling things, and honestly feeling a bit detached from everything that had been happening, I can only say that it's all kickstarted again with an absolute BOOM. 

I had a meeting with my favourite person at the office last week. This time, another friend accompanied me - thank you, again! - and came out going 'what the actual is she all about?'. It's just so nice to be reassured that your feelings about the way a someone is acting is not entirely in your head...a bit of validation goes a long way in this exceptionally challenging process. Her 'advice' for me going to spend time with my boy included her typical role play (where she is him) and lots of showing me how you would cuddle a child and touch his face etc. I definitely muttered under my breath about 3 times 'WTAF' because it's just so unbelievably patronising to be shown how to act around children. My entire adult career has been knowing how to act around children. And even if it weren't, do people actually need to be shown how to cuddle??! Anyway...continue smiling, saying thank you and jumping through these fiery hoops. 

So I've been going around the UK telling anyone who asked that I expect my boy to be home mid-end of Feb. Towards the end of the trip, I actually did acknowledge that this is based entirely on MY timescale and what I thought would be best for this wee guy. Obviously, that is not at all what's happening. 

There's a very complicated (why would it be anything but?!) procedure to follow now which involves all sorts of timescales and exact days in between when certain bits of paperwork can be filed and whatnot. However, they actually gave me a piece of paper with an actual timescale and an actual procedure written on it. After 23 months of paperwork and meetings and waiting and hounding them and crying at them...I actually have an actual piece of paper. If all goes according to plan, then the end of February is official getting him home as my son time. The bit between now and then is sensitive and I don't want to say too much because there's a part of me that's absolutely terrified something will go wrong. After this bit is over and passed and necessary documents filed and signed and he's mine, I'll come back to it. Right now, the furry family and I have been getting ready. Well, I'm getting ready - they have no idea what's about to happen! His room is ready, our garden is ready and my heart has been ready since about forever ago...I won't lie, I'm feeling all kinds of overwhelmed at the moment and having little freak outs as this becomes reality. Not sure I'd be a human if that weren't the case. It's about to just be me and him for the rest of our lives. To doubt yourself is human nature, right?? There have also definitely been times recently where I've wished I had a person here doing this with me. But, BUT, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind about bringing my baby home - it's unbelievably exciting and I can't freaking wait. 

Let the adventure begin...xxxx